If relationships were super simple, then everyone would be in them. You're asking for trouble if you expect absolute perfection because you're not perfect and the people that you're going to date won't be, either. But sometimes you're actually the problem, whether you realize it or not. It sucks to realize that you've made a ton of mistakes in your past relationships, but you know what they say: you have to accept your past if you want a great present and future.
Isn't it so annoying how those popular sayings end up being so true and wise? If you seem to always find yourself breaking up with someone and things just don't work out happily ever after, you definitely want to read this. Here are 15 reasons you've ruined every relationship you've ever had. If you refuse to see when you make mistakes or are hurting someone that you care about, then it's no wonder that your relationships don't last.
If you were upset with your boyfriend about something that he did -- if he never offered to help make dinner when you two were hanging out in your apartment, or if he was always half an hour late but never tried to change -- you would be pretty pissed off if he refused to listen to you.
And you would definitely be angry if he refused to change and make things better. You don't want a stubborn boyfriend, so why are you such a stubborn girlfriend? If you can't ever listen and stop being so stubborn, your relationships are never going to work out. Being positive and upbeat is definitely a great way to live your life. No one likes negativity and complaining, and that stuff definitely doesn't fly in a relationship.
But if you live with your head in the clouds all the time because you're so naive and innocent about your relationships, then it's no wonder that you ruin things every single time.
You can't have such unrealistic expectations because if you do, you're just going to be upset and disappointed in the end.
People can't act the exact way that you want them to and they're not going to be exactly who you want them to be. Let's say your boyfriend has said that he needs to take things slow because although he really cares about you and wants you in his life, he's had a lot of bad luck getting close to someone too soon and he doesn't want to lose you. If you freak out and claim that of course, he's going to say that he loves you within a few short months of dating, then you're being crazy naive and you're going to ruin things.
You don't want to date someone who's so immature that they can't make their own mind up or that they can't face a problem head on. But if you act that way, then that's definitely one of the major reasons that you're always ruining relationships, whether you realize it or not.
A relationship may take two, but it also takes a whole lot mature adult behavior. You're going to get in fights with your significant other and you're going to upset each other. That's just human nature, no matter how much you love each other or how close you've gotten.In the spring ofI met the man who would almost instantly become my best friend for the next year. He was my mentor at work, meaning we spent almost 8 hours together daily for the first two weeks of knowing each other.
For two socially awkward people, we were so quick to become comfortable together. I was 2 years into a long distance relationship and he had just ended an engagement, meaning that there was no pressure to be anything more than we were; best friends. He was the funniest person I had ever met. For a year we were inseparable. At one point he had been talking with a girl who was uncomfortable with our friendship and I thought that we were done.
But, Sam assured me that she would just have to get over her insecurities. Meanwhile, my romantic relationship was deteriorating. I was slowly realizing that I, at 20 years old, was dating a 26 year old manchild who had never lived more than one bedroom away from his mother and who literally vomited in the face of confrontation.
In the midst of all of this, I decided it was time to bring Sam up north to my hometown to meet my female best friend. They approved of each other immediately and we spend the night drinking and smoking pot in her garage. At one point, I left the alone to use the restroom.
On my way back out, I heard them talking through the door.
I stopped dead in my tracks. What the fuck was that? Did Sam just admit that he has feelings for me? How could I be so blind to miss that he felt this way? I gathered myself and went back into the garage, where the topic quickly changed. That night, he fell asleep on the couch in the basement while I sat completely awake in the chair next to him.
My mind was racing. I had to address this. I spent at least 45 minutes gathering the courage to wake him up. Finally, after standing and sitting back down maybe 10 times, I went over and sat on the floor in front of the couch. And we did. And it was foreign. But I liked it. We kissed again, then spent the next hour talking about what an amazing idea it was… and what an awful idea it was… and how we were going to go forward from there. We tried to watch some TV together, but ended up making out and dry humping on his bed like a couple of teenagers.
Afterwards, we talked and decided not to act on anything quite yet. I left his house grinning from ear to ear. I got in my car and drove down his road away from the house and suddenly it felt like a heavy blanket was thrown on top of me. It took 15 minutes of heavy, snotty, gasping for air crying for me to even begin my drive home.
It was clear that everything was going to change. The next day at work, I tried to act like everything was normal. I was either handling this terribly or Sam was dealing with his own demons because by the end of the day, he was accusing me of acting different and made it clear we needed to keep our distance. It was the beginning of the end. I was so lost and so alone… I had just left the only romantic relationship I had ever had, a three year investment, and now my best friend was purposefully avoiding me like the plague.
It had been about a month since we stopped spending time together when I passed by him on my way out of work one day.My boyfriend and I recently broke up. When we first started off as friends I kept pushing him to other girls until he thought he had no chance with me whatsoever and pushed his feelings for me and really thought of me as just a friend.
And he was resolved that we would just be friends.I Ruined A Relationship With A Rich Mr. Right (Storytime)
Until I told him how I felt about him. At first he fought me and said that all he could see of me was friendship, but as time went on, the feelings he hid came out and he gave me his heart. Well idiot that I was I kept fighting him again, mostly this time of jealousy.
Days later I wrote him a letter trying to get him back and start again. I convinced him somehow and he agreed so we started out slow and days later we were back to what we were again. This time when we broke up I took longer to contact him. I egged him on to end things because he was confused on his feeling for me and it just made me resent him.
I feel so remorseful. I realized I ruined the best relationship I ever had because of fear. I was like? And I realized he did it again, his mind compartmentalized and placed me in the friendship file.
My Anxiety Ruined The Best Relationship I Ever Had
His mind is so quick to go into a survival mode. I asked him if we could start off as friends, and dating no one for 2 months. Even though from my experience it took about less than a week for his subconscious to remember his feelings for me, what can I do to help him remember and get back his feelings for me.
I have only two months. And why do guys do this? How can they compartmentalize that easily? Please help me what can I do to help him remember and get back his feelings for me?
The best way to create emotional safety is to have an atmosphere of open communication, understanding, validation, empathy and respect for each other.
It sounds like you two have a great foundation with such a good friendship! But — you have a great deal of distance between you. This will likely prove challenging but not impossible.
Work really hard at keeping your heart open, noticing the fear that comes up for you and sit with that feeling. Perhaps he has been so hurt by you that he is holding back — which would be understandable right? Create a safe haven for him to come out from hiding.
Need advice?I treat her very well and would do anything just to see her smile. She told me she loved me and i told her i loved her too and she told me how i was the best boyfriend she ever had, not jealous, always taking care of her and she has no idea why i am with her, blah blah However last saturday we went out to dinner with my parents and it was a great night, she had just went into the shop and bought some chocolate and we were joking and laughing all the way home to mine.
I then went to give her a kiss and she pulled away laughing saying why do you always try to kiss me while i am eating, and without thinking, but still laughing said because you are always eating I asked her the other day what's wrong and she told me she isn't happy anymore, that me and her don't make her happy anymore.
Did I Ruin My Relationship? Guys Reveal The Ways They Messed Up Their Relationships
I talked it out with her and she agreed to give us another try but she still hasn't become herself and doesn't seem happy with me at all. I barely spend any time with her now. There are literally so many posts going on here at all matters of the day, sometimes it's difficult to keep up with everything. Let's face it. She has had to have ongoing issues way before you opened your mouth. Unfortunately, that may be something that you have to accept.
Give her time. Her emotional baggage is hers to deal with, unless she is willing to let you help. If she was as truly happy as you say, she won't forget.
She maybe in a slump right now, trying to fight her way out, and maybe making decisions based on her own insecurities. Let her resolve her own feelings, by herself, and see where that goes before you panic. If you really like her, that is going to be something you are going to have to deal with. The only advice I can give you is to try and give her genuine compliments. You have to be very careful, because giving a compliment that seems forced or unnatural is even worse than not giving one at all with someone who is insecure about themselves.
Try to take her shopping, and if she asks your opinion on a piece of clothing, tell her you like it, because its like another piece of clothing that she looks so hot in.
You have to win her trust before you can deal with the problem She needs to understand the reason you like her isn't just because she is hot, but also because of the chemistry between you two.
She had just come out of a two year relationship so she shouldn't have jumped into another one with me, it isn't my fault that we broke up it's her own issues and i am okay with it because i just want her to be happy. I want to talk to you about this kinda same thing happening to me can i add you on fb? R elationship T alk. I think i have ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me So she dumped you because of something you said?
Those may interest you: I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me and I can't live with myself. Hi friends, worst thing happened with me.
I loved a gird by my heart madly I lost the best thing that ever happened to me How do I get her back? She was the best thing that happened to me.
I love my husband, he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly.
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I Ruined the Relationship That I Had With My Girlfriend. Can I Get Her Back?
We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. A few months ago I moved out after finding texts and naked pictures from other girls. Well after a lot of arguing we decided to keep trying at our relationship. I took my old job back in my hometown at the time but since have wanted to move back but couldn't because I didn't have a job there. Well now he's gotten used to living alone and has realized that he can live without me.
He still wants to be with me but doesn't want to move back in together. I know I must sound pathetic but I feel like I ruined the best thing in my life and have lost the father of my child. Just needed to vent. Thanks for listening. Time heals all. You deserve better than that. Look out for you and your baby first. If you end up getting back together with your BF that's great. If not know you're not the first single mom.
You can do this. Im confused as to how he can be the best thing you ever had. He was cheating on you and if he wasn't he was planning to. You have given him the space he needs to do what he wants and he is not ready to give it up.
He wants his cake and eat it to. Wishing you the best of luck in whatever you decide just look at the big picture. How did you ruin anything? You did the right thing by leaving him when you found naked pictures and texts from other women and you guys were together.
That is NOT okay. If he feels like he can live without you then maybe he is not the one for you.I knew Annie from law school.
We were merely acquaintances who had a few mutual friends and had talked only minimally. I got to know her when we sat next to each other at our bar exam review class. But eventually, I stopped going to the live lectures and watching the recorded classes on DVD.
As a result, we fell out of touch. I think it may have started with an ongoing email conversation that was sparked by sharing a recipe. In any case, we became fast friends, and it was clear that we both needed a good friend at that point in our lives. We had a lot in common. We both loved exploring the city, foodie stuff, reading and, nerd culture.
On the surface, we were not much alike; I am black and fancied myself bougie, and she is a no-nonsense white girl from a small, midwestern town. Annie always drove. Annie totally accepted that and always did the driving. A small but significant sign of how I would ultimately take advantage of our friendship. When my daughter was small and my marriage was troubled, I found myself drinking too much and involved with a younger bartender.
I talked at Annie about my flirtation with him ad nauseum. Naturally, as a young wife and mom, my situation carried a lot more weight and potential consequences than a schoolyard crush.
And Annie tried to listen, offer what advice she could, and support me despite my path for self-destruction. My friend was not a wife or mother. She was patient, kind and firm with me at a time I was totally unhinged. She never took time off. She never avoided my calls. Finally, my selfish, self-centered quarter-life crisis put a chink in the armor of our friendship that could not be repaired.
We grew apart, and I told myself it was because she judged me so harshly for being a hot mess. When the truth was that I judged myself harshly for being a hot mess. She never did. She never did anything but love me and try to help. A few years later I sat with my AA sponsor as we went through my fourth step inventory.And it gets worse. Sharon has always been an amazing friend to me. We have known each other for over 20 years had we mesh really well.
We never judge each other or the relationships the other had. Until recently. Sharon had been dating Eric for some time and like many relationships, it had its ups and downs. Though the details are not really known the paperwork I see throws around the word "intent" in reference to the crime.
His prison stuff is not really a big issue for me as I spend some time there myself prior me meeting S. Recently S and E broke up. They were living with his father and S's year-old son. The living situation was untenable. I have battled drug addiction and bad relationships for years and I finally found some peace of mind and a few years ago decided to go back to college and get a degree. I will have my Bachelors's in the fall and was accepted to a Ph. Sharon lives in Oregon and needed to get out of her situation.
I figured we had lived together before and I can afford to get a place that I am going to have to get anyway but just barely, so we found a 3bd place and S and her son already live there. It gets worse. Sharon and I talk a lot and we sometimes flirt with each other. Harmless stuff that is part of the background of our conversations and nothing has ever come from it. However recently I realized that I had deeper feelings for S and was in pain not being able to tell her due to fear.
So I did. I would not say it was unrequited but Sharon was still hung up on Eric. To make matters better a friend of there's interveined and they decided to continue their relationship.
I found this out last night via messenger and we had a bit of a row. I don't know what to do. I can't accept Eric as anything but a child molester. He will always be that to me and such people are not worthy of sharing the planet with everyone else. Sharon and I are still friends but I wonder if that will last now. I made my feelings on Eric very clear and Sharon is under no illusions in that regard.
She promised to keep him away from the apartment and away from me but I do not know how long that will last. This morning she messaged me with a good morning and a heart gif. This is typical. I did not reciprocate the gif and kept the conversation short and curt. I eventually had to explain to her that I was taking all the extraneous emotions that I had for her, boxing them up and burning them. The reality is not that simple. There is some background information.
Sharon has been married something like 13 times. I am not even exaggerating. It may be more. I have been married once.